You ever just stare and stare and stare into space. Your brain is completely empty and yet, there is a pervasive undercurrent of thoughts/fears/anxieties/yearnings just bubbling beneath the surface of your mind that is thinking about “nothing.”
Yeah. Me too.
So many self-help books and therapists will recommend you just let those thoughts go. Acknowledge but don’t hold onto them. Let them fade, float like leaves down the river.
So, I have had to do mindfulness exercises and they told me to let those thoughts go like leaves into the river.
I tried. Then, I thought, “what if this thought is important?” and I grabbed it and then I tried breathing and letting it go, but then I noticed the river was polluted and would eradicate that thought.
So, I tried the ocean. Let that thought wash away into the ocean.
And. . .
A turtle pops his head up and it had the plastic bottle liners wrapped around its head and feet.
So, no go with the ocean.
So, I sat there, desperately trying to hold onto EVERYTHING. Because the world is polluted and awful and it was on me to save myself.
It goes without saying that the therapist was frustrated by my attempt at mindfulness.
As I reflect on this, I realize that I am not required to pay attention to everything and fix everything and know what is wrong with everything.
That job is taken.
Instead, my job is to listen and pay attention to the Holy Spirit.
I heard a podcast last night about how so many of our heroes from the Bible didn’t have a Bible, only attended church once a year, or had no access to spiritual advisors. . . And yet, they KNEW GOD. They heard Him. They walked with Him. They delighted in Him.
Those Heroes did not need a mindfulness class to have peace and not be overwhelmed by this world.
Were they perfect?
No.
But, they sought GOD. They found a way to know GOD. They found a way for peace to hold them through everything.
Why is it so hard for us?
I keep thinking I need to pray more, read more in the Bible. Understand Greek and Hebrew and all the ancient languages. Maybe if I just tried harder to have peace and know GOD more and know this and that and all the things. . .
David was a shepherd.
Noah was just a man trying to hear GOD.
Samuel was a kid who heard a voice in the middle of the night.
Ruth was just a woman who wanted to do right by her mother-in-law.
Abraham was just a man who obeyed,.
There is a common theme here.
These heroes, these persons from the Bible who are known for their role in this world. . .
They were just people, but they OBEYED. They made mistakes, but they made big comebacks. And they obeyed. They are known because they loved GOD and listened to Him.
I struggle with obedience. It isn’t easy being told what to do. Whether one is two years old or forty-two, obedience is difficult. I want to buck the system, do my own thing, be my own person.
But, I always come back to the concept that I was made for purpose and GOD knows my purpose. While I have free-will, I also know the cost of that free-will. Like a child running away into the street, free-will can be dangerous.
I can choose to obey and have life to the full.
or
I can choose my way and fight for my life, fight for my peace, fight for my mind.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help us to know You, Your will.
Guide us into obedience.
Help us follow Your laws.
Fill us with the Holy Spirit
So we do not stray from
Your will.
In the Holy Name of Your Son, Jesus
Amen.
Shalom
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